


hidden feelings

by mayahartt



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M, and there's a little violence and a mention of blood, but nothing serious i promise, there is some language but i didnt really use that many cuss words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 11:28:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6904018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayahartt/pseuds/mayahartt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the six times lucas friar hid his feelings and the one time he didn't</p>
            </blockquote>





	hidden feelings

**Author's Note:**

> this one took me a little longer than the last one, and i, personally, think it's better. plus there is a lot of angsty lucaya and i live for that shit

**Eigth Grade**

There’s a campfire. And a billion stars. And a beautiful girl sitting right next to you, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could restrain yourself from tucking that _stupid_ piece of blonde hair that refused to go behind her ear.

She’s laughing with Farkle and smiling like some kind of goddess and it was starting to mess with your head. She had just been invited into the family by your Pappy Joe and then Farkle is saying how much he loves this place. Then it goes awry and Zay leaves with Vanessa for ice cream and Riley is suggesting leaving to and you don’t say anything, but Maya does and you’re kind of glad (not that you don’t _want_ to be alone with her, but you really don’t think you could _handle_ it).

The girls are having some weird kind of conversation again and then _Maya likes you_ . You’re kind of in awe and then you’re asking Riley about what they were because she had seemed to like you just hours before and now she didn’t and _damn_ was your head starting to hurt _._

Then Riley is gone just like that and Farkle is probably going to comfort her and you think you should be chasing after her, but you don’t. Instead you ask what’s going on and it doesn’t seem like Maya has an answer either. You’re still asking questions and _no she doesn’t like you, she just doesn’t want you to win and get conceited._

And she’s making fun of you (when isn’t she really?) and you feel like you have the upper hand here and you’re getting frustrated and _of course she doesn’t see you like that!_ Now you’re looking at a fire and her because the way the it’s reflecting onto her is messing you up and finally your thoughts are calm and it’s just sinking in that _Maya Hart likes you_. She’s telling you to stop, but you can’t and you honestly don’t want to. Then she’s telling you about how she thinks you and Riley are brother and sister and so much alike and you’re agreeing with her silently, but you feel like you shouldn’t be.

You’re practically wrestling your thoughts and she’s talking and then you’re both standing and she’s getting closer and waving her hands around and then she is doing that _stupid_ hahurr thing (that you love so much) and then you’re grabbing her face and she just stops. You’re getting lost in the _stupid_ color of her eyes (that you love so much) and the way her hair feels under your fingers and the fact that you haven’t been this close to her before.

You’re looking at her lips and about to kiss her when a name pops into your head and the moment is over. She’s asking why you did that and you’re wondering too and then _of course I like you, you’re a good guy._ And you think you should be worried about what might happen with your “sister”, but you’re not and all you’re thinking about is the fact that it felt good to hear her say those words.

Better than it should have, really.

 

**Freshman Year**

Everything is changed now. There are no feelings (at least that's what everyone is saying, though they all know that it's fake), and there isn't any tension (at least that's what everyone is saying, though they all know it's fake).

Now you can all pretend like you don't like each other and it doesn't matter that you sit next to Maya in all your classes (except for Honors Biology, which you sit next to Riley in). You can pretend like passing notes all throughout class and making fun of the teacher and the rest of the students isn't as entertaining as it seems. You can pretend like you don't get distracted when she flips her blonde hair over her shoulder and continues to write down the notes they were going to need for the test. You can pretend like you're not staring at her when you're shoving her elbow as to mess her drawings up when she's doodling in the margins of her notebook, and when she tries to contain her smile you can pretend like you're heart isn't exploding from all the warmth that just radiates around her.

Everyone can see that you smile wider when Maya is making the joke, and how easily your hand finds the small of her back when you're walking through the hallway. _But it's Lucas and Maya, no actual feelings are there_ (at least that's what everyone is saying, though they all know that it's fake).

Many of your sleepless nights are thanks to her, texting or facetiming or her climbing through your window at hours that she shouldn't (which makes you think that means there are hours that she _should_ be).

One moment stands out in particular, the whole crew was together and you were just watching whatever movie Farkle had already seen (just incase) and you were sitting next to Maya (and also Riley, but you hadn't really noticed). It's some type of horror movie and you know that Maya doesn't do well with those so when she jumps for the third time you grab her hand as inconspicuously as you can. She doesn't even look over (which makes you think that it's just second nature now) and she's squeezing it as the dumb girl in the movie decides to go to the basement.

You don't think anybody notices (they all do) because no one is making a big deal out of it (they all are). So as you sit there and comfort the blonde beauty, you feel your heart pick up pace when she scoots closer. She’s practically sitting on your lap and you _reallyreally_ don’t want her to get any closer because her hair smells like strawberries and she looks so innocent and you just want to _scream_.  

You hear her slightly whimper when blood just starts splattering itself across the screen and she turns and buries her face into your shoulder. An arm is automatically around her and your heart literally feels like it's about to fall out of your ass. It was only for a fleeting second, but you thought of what a movie date with Maya would feel like. Cuddling on a couch somewhere in New York, being able to hold her in your arms whenever you wanted. You have a sudden rush of _something_ and you almost shiver with it's strength. When you look back at Maya you know what it is, but it wasn't like you were gonna do anything. So you excuse yourself and try not to run or punch yourself when you finally get out of the room. After running water over your face you sigh and walk back, noticing how you don't hear Maya fussing or at least complaining that they should just stop the movie now.

When you walk in, Maya is sitting next to Zay, he's making her laugh and keeping her distracted and you want to throw him across the room. It really takes all your willpower not to.

 

**Freshman Year**

No one knew how it had happened, but apparently now Maya was dating someone. For you, that meant watching her be happy with someone else (which you grumbled that it was okay for the fact that as long as she was happy you were too). It also meant having to be nice to Trevor? Travis? Trenton? Whatever the hell was his name, it didn’t matter, you still had to watch them together.

It just so happened that they got together right before some spring dance the school was holding for all the freshman. So, even though you were going to ask her, you were pushed aside for the new favorite couple of the grade.

You thought the worst thing about them was that they were very _hands on_ when around each other. Whether it be kissing or holding hands or hugging or sitting on each other, they were just always together. Which means he was practically a part of your friend group now (but you wouldn’t really know given the fact that every time they said he was joining, you made an excuse about how you couldn’t go).

Everyone said he was funny and seemed really good for Maya, but you knew he wasn’t enough for her. You didn’t have proof, but you knew. No one was ever going to be good enough for Maya Hart. Not some random boy, not someone you knew, not even you. She was beautiful and she had the heart of a freaking lion and the bravery of some kind of person from Harry Potter and she was so smart and although she wasn’t perfect, she was pretty damn close.

So on the night of the dance, you got ready (even though you didn’t have a date nor did you even want to go (curse Maya for having the best puppy dog face in all of New York)). When you were just about to head over to the Matthew’s for pictures, your mother called you into the living room, saying someone was there for you.

Confused since all of your friends were going to the dance, you walked into the living room to find Maya, not at all ready and looking as if she had just been crying. The second you walked in, her eyes found their way to yours and she practically lunged at you. Wrapping her tiny legs and arms around you, she hugged you like her life depended on it. You repeatedly asked her what was wrong, but all she said was that she didn’t want to go to the dance tonight. (Obviously you weren’t going to fight her on it).

Later that night, when she’s curled up at your side on the roof right outside your window, you’re angry. Angry at what’s-his-face for breaking up with her right before the dance, angry that someone would do that to her, angry that all you wanted to do when she was telling you about it and crying, was kiss her, angry that you knew you couldn’t.

It was hard not to when she looked beautiful even when she was a sobbing mess. You knew that if you wanted to kiss her when she was at her worst, than you’d want to do a lot more when she was at her best.

 

**Sophomore Year**

The fact is simple. Maya Hart is an amazing artist. So amazing that, thanks to the recommendations of the school’s art teacher, Maya, only a sophomore, has a piece in an art exhibit. Or at least she’s _hopefully_ going to.

The fact is simple. You are an amazing distraction. So amazing that, thanks to the fact that you like Maya, you, only a sophomore, have been keeping her from finishing it. Or at least _hopefully_ finishing it.

It seemed that every time you were going over to see Maya (which was a lot more recent, thanks to the fact that you had grown closer after the dance in freshman year), she was getting ready to paint. Though the second you showed up, she would throw down the supplies and just go along with whatever you wanted.

It was obvious she was nervous, or at least procrastinating for as long as possible, about the piece. When you finally brought it up to her, she refused, saying she was already halfway done with it (terrible lie, you knew it too, because she didn’t have any new canvases in her room).

You even threatened to stop hanging out and talking to her until she was completely done, which she didn’t seem to like the sound of. She told you that you could just stay while she painted. You told her you were probably going to continue to distract her, but then she said she didn’t even know what she was going to paint, anyways, so the least you could do was help her figure that out.

So you just agreed to stay and brainstorm with her. You had both been thinking deeply for over thirty minutes when she screeched, loud enough to scare the shit out of you and make you tip over in your chair. She laughed (or angels sung, you couldn’t tell, really) and helped you up, saying that _she could paint you! Doesn’t that sound great?_ All you said was sure, just for the sake of her getting done with it. So you sat and modeled for her for over nine hours that day (eventually falling asleep in the chair she made you sit in). When you finally woke up, she was done with it and practically smiling from ear to ear.

She ushered you over, and you stood behind her and put your chin on the top of her head. She suddenly turned anxious as you examined it, continuously asking if it was alright and _are the colors okay? Ohmygosh they’re horrible, I hate it, maybe I should restart_. You smiled at her worry and told her it was amazing and great and wonderful and whatever other synonym she could think of.

She had painted a sort of profile of you, and then painted over the face with a million other colors. She added intricate designs for the background and your face and even though it looked like something had thrown up over a canvas, it was marvelous.

You finally looked down at Maya, noticing that you were really close and that she had paint streaks from her hair down to her chin, covering her face and that her lips were smeared with blue. You laughed at her and it took all your self restraint to not put red on your lips and suggest making purple.

It seemed that you were staring at her for too long and she asked if she had something on her face. You just shook your head with a toothy smile and turned her back around to look at the painting, telling her that there was nothing there (and reminding yourself that you weren’t good enough for this masterpiece (if only you knew she was _oh so_ willing to paint you into it)).

 

**Summer going into Junior Year**

Another school year done, and another year that you had yet to ask out Maya Hart. At this point, Riley and Charlie were together (a boy that made her laugh from the moment they had met), but you still used the “Riley Excuse” for your inability to think about asking Maya out. Anyways, it was summer and you wanted to make it as drama free as possible.

Which proved to be really hard since this creepy older guy keeps looking at Maya as if she is a piece of meat or something. You were very close to snapping, the only thing stopping you was Maya’s hand on your shoulder. She hadn’t even noticed the guy, but you were with Charlie and Riley, and every once in awhile she would pull you down to talk to you (which you thought was the cutest thing ever because she was just a little short stack of pancakes).  

The guy hadn’t noticed you either, since he was too busy staring at Maya’s ass. You wanted to yell about how _she was only sixteen,_ but you didn’t think he would care. Watching his eyes rake across her body sent shivers down your spine (and thinking about what he would have done if she was here by herself), and you couldn’t help yourself before you wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. She was listening to Riley talk, and gave you a confused glance.

You sighed and leaned down (you were almost bent in half) and whispered in her ear the predicament you guys were in. She inconspicuously glanced back at the guy, who gave her a smirk and a small wave. Of course she didn’t wave back, but you spazzed and walk over to the guy.

After seeing you coming, he looked kind of threatened (which only gave you the advantage over him). “I’m sorry, but I think you’ve been staring at my _girlfriend_ for a little too long. It’s starting to make her uncomfortable.” The words rolled off your tongue way too easily and it made you feel a lot better than it should have, but it wasn’t like you could help it.

He said something stupid about how she seemed to be enjoying it, which only made you roll your eyes. “Okay, _sir_ , I’m giving you a fair warning. I’m already irritated and I _really_ don’t think you want to see me when I’m angry.” You give him a sarcastic smile and watch him gulp visibly. I mean you have to have at least half a foot on him, and he’s as scrawny as Farkle was in seventh grade. He nods his head as if to say _I won’t do anything._

Satisfied with this, you walk back over to your friends who were watching the encounter. Maya instantly asked what happened and you just told her to not worry about it, that you put him in his place. The conversation started up again, but Maya didn’t join in, only giving you a confused and determined glare throughout it.

When it came time to drive her home, she was still quiet in the car. It was starting to bug you, this was the girl who rarely stopped talking, whether it was about literature or some art museum in a town with a name you can’t pronounce or something a teacher said that made her want to throw a book at them or just anything. She would start using her hands for dramatic effect, and that was when you could feel the warmth that engulfed you when she was just being herself. The drop of realization that, _oh, I love this person_ that bubbled inside you with each syllable that rolled off her tongue. So when she wasn’t talking, it was worrying.

You finally caved and asked her what was wrong, but it was like she couldn’t hear you (or didn’t want to). Sighing, you reach across the console and set your hand on her thigh. Instantly, her eyes are locked on yours, but then she’s grabbing your face and telling you to _look at the damn road!_

A small smile graces your lips as you glance over at her, not taking your hand away. You can hear her shallow breaths and it makes you want to fist pump. Making Maya Hart _nervous_? (This is the best day of your life).

“All hot and bothered there, blonde beauty?” You don’t have to look over to know she’s glaring at you, but at least she isn’t intimidating anymore.

You make your face as serene as possible and then slide your hand up no more than an inch. When you peer from the corner of your eye, she’s just staring at your hand. If she could set things on fire with her eyes, it would be burnt to a crisp at this point. This motivated you to move your hand just slightly up before she’s slapping it away and complaining about how long you’ve been driving (you guess she hadn’t noticed that you were taking the long way home).

She’s all red cheeks and hiding behind her hair and you swear you’ve never seen her shy before. In that moment it hits you that this is all you want. You want to love having the power to make the Mighty Maya Hart crumble just a little bit (in the best way possible). You want to be able to just wrap your arms around her or simply tuck a piece of hair behind her ear without all of your motives being questioned.

You know it’s simple, all you have to do is ask her out. But it really isn’t that easy at all. Maya doesn’t like being held down anymore. She’s been through her fair share of relationships in the past three years, and you don’t want to just be _another one_. You know she isn’t like that, she still talks to most of her exes, but you don’t want to have to go through it. You want this friendship, and if that means not being able to tell her you love her (and have her know you mean it like that), than that’s how it has to be.

You know she doesn’t need you, she is the strongest person you know, she doesn’t _need_ anyone. Of course she says she is better off with all of you guys ( _no one is better alone!_ ), but she is her own person, and you’ve loved watching her grow and branch out these past few years. She used to rely so much on you guys, but she doesn’t anymore. And the thing about dating her is that at some point she’s going to finally understand it. She’s going to realize that just because she may have wanted you at some point, that doesn’t mean she wants you now. It’ll hurt a lot worse to have her ripped away a lot quicker than you got her.

But when you look over to her, finally comfortable, singing some pop song that’s on the radio too much, you almost think it’s worth it. You almost say fuck it, and lean over to kiss her. (Which you also agreed was a terrible idea given the fact that you were driving). But yet again, you are restricted by the doubts and nerves that surround you like chains, and even as your heart relentlessly pulls on them, you still stay stuck to the wall.

 

**Junior Year**

Your anger issues hadn’t been a problem since middle school, but it seems like they’re back. It also seemed like boys thought it was okay to talk about Maya. The boys on your baseball team were notorious for talking about girls in the locker room, but you really thought they’d have enough sense to not talk about her, _especially_ in front of you. It wasn’t like you joined in anyways, but it’s hard not to listen when they’re yelling about it.

You don’t remember what was said, but it was something along the lines of, “Friar? What’s happening between you and Maya, I heard she was great in bed and was wondering if you knew anything about it. I’ve been thinking about seeing if she wanted to _go out_ sometime, if you know what I mean.”

You knew what he meant. You also knew that if you swung your right fist hard enough you could probably break his nose.

So you did.

You had received a week in school suspension and you weren’t allowed to participate in any baseball practices until the season had officially started. You didn’t really care, (except you were worried about your mother’s reaction), it was worth it. You’d given the guy a black eye and a crooked nose, so you weren’t complaining. Although Maya had a different agenda.

You were just sitting on your bed before hearing a sharp knock at your window. Already knowing who it was, you sighed. “Yes, Maya?” You say, stepping back so she could come in.

“Don’t _yes Maya_ me, what the fuck is with you? _Fighting_? Lucas, what happened?” She asked as she threw her stuff on your bed.

“It’s nothing, I just got angry.” You couldn’t look her in the eyes so you just glanced around the room.

“Bullshit, just tell me. We tell each other everything, don’t we?” She gave you those puppy dog eyes that made you want to curl up into a ball and swoon over and you thought to yourself, ‘Well not _everything_.’

“Fine. The guy just said stuff about you that I didn’t like and I flipped, there, happy?” You snapped at her as she took a step back. “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t like I did it consciously. It was just a reaction, it’s nothing. I’ll be back to school next week. Back to the old Lucas.”

She snorted at you, “No, it is not nothing! I appreciate you standing up for me, but there’s no need to fight someone about it. You could’ve gotten a lot worse of a punishment!” She was pushing on your chest now and you thought she sounded ridiculous.

“Maya, it’s over now, okay? I won’t do it again, I promise.” You stated and grabbed her hands before she could shove you again. When she glanced down at them, she gasped.

“Did you just decide not to bandage them or anything? Dumbass, that’s how you get infections! The least you could do after punching someone in the face is cover up your own wounds.”

She pulled on your arm and dragged you into the bathroom. After complaining about how you didn’t need it and that it was stinging and she _really_ wasn’t as gentle as she promised she would be, your hand was freshly wrapped and clean.

Even after she finished with the last bandage she didn’t move from where she was standing, right in front of you. She exhaled loudly before leaning her forehead on your chest. “Thank you, Lucas. But I swear on everything holy, if I ever hear anything about you fighting again, I will personally kick your ass, got it?”

You laughed and said that you one hundred percent agreed with it. She looked up and you leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek, but she moved her head at the same time. You stopped moving forward, surprised by the sudden closeness. Your breaths were mingled and you could swear you were going to faint.

She was looking from your eyes to your mouth and you leaned in even farther, bumping your noses together. The sound of a knock on your door brought you both into focus and she jumped away from you. Running a hand through your hair you went over and opened the door and it was hard to keep your thoughts straight while talking to your mom. I mean you just almost kissed Maya Hart. _Maya fucking Hart_.

 

**Senior Year**

The incessant nagging from Zay about how much he couldn’t wait any longer, and that you needed to ask out Maya was becoming severely interruptive, especially when you’re trying to fill out college applications. It was already the most stressful thing you’d had to endure, and Zay was literally making you want to eat a power tool, or beat him with it, you still hadn’t decided. You’d been rushing to get the form for Columbia University done, so you’d had to continue it at lunch. You and him were sitting outside today, at one of the run down picnic tables the school was _oh so generous_ to provide you guys with.

Also, adding to the fact that you were already stressed, your ass hurt and you had a clear view of a guy flirting with Maya. It wasn’t that that was getting to you, you’d seen it a million times before, it was the fact that she was flirting _back_. Maya wasn’t a tease, but she didn’t really care for boys so much this year, so it was surprising to see a smirk grace her lips and her hands come to rest on his chest.

A literal _growl_ was crawling it’s way up your throat, but you pushed the urge down so as not to give Zay the satisfaction. “Come on, Cowboy, where’s your bravery and brute strength when you need it? Go over there and sweep her off her feet.” He said as you continued to write down some personal information.

“Isaiah Babineaux, I am about this close to kicking your ass.” You said through gritted teeth as you pinched your fingers together. He groaned and laid his entire body on the table, covering up your papers.

“Well, Hee Haw, I’m about this close to being totally and completely done with that threat. You have yet to punch me in all our years as friends, I’m not going to believe you now,” He stated as he mimicked you by bringing his fingers close together, “And stop trying to get me off topic!”

“You’ve been spending way too much time with Maya, is she paying you money to call me these things? I wouldn’t even be surprised at this point.” You grumbled and set your head down when you realized he wasn't going to move.

“Oh, sweetie, I do it because I know you hate it when anyone but Maya calls you them. It’s quite endearing, honestly. But anyways, I will pay anything for you to at least _walk_ over there and do _something_!” He dragged the words on for dramatic effect and raised his arms in exasperation.

“Okay, fine, but I’m going to walk over, not say anything, nor am I interrupting their conversation, and then I’m going to walk back. I want you to move your fucking body before the time I get back, thank you, _sweetie_.” You said sarcastically as you got up, walking a few feet closer to the pair. I mean all he said was to walk over, he never said you had to do anything (other than sweep her off her feet, but you were pretty sure no one could do that).

Just as you were about to turn back around, you saw the two lean a little closer, almost as if they were about to kiss. Not knowing what you were doing, you stormed over and grabbed Maya by the waist, picking her up and throwing her over your shoulder. “Sorry, lover boy, she’s busy right now!” You called over your other shoulder as you continued to walk forward.

“Really? Really, really? I was talking to someone and that was just completely rude of you, you know?” Maya huffed as you were waltzed over to an open picnic table.

“Yeah, well, I would say sorry, but I’m not.” You said as you set her down on top of the wooden surface, and immediately leaned over to get in her face. You could tell a bunch of people were staring at you, waiting with baited breath to see if _this was it_ . It was weird how obsessed some people were with your relationship with Maya. I mean, you wanted to happen just as much as the next person, _GOD did you want it to_ , but some people really made it seem like they _needed_ it.

“What’re you doing?” She sighed as your eyes locked onto hers. You could’ve sworn her cheeks were red, but you’ve never seen them like that.

“I’m not exactly sure, chump.” You referred to a new nickname that she completely deserved. She had been trying to go on a diet and you refused to call her anything else until she was eating normally again. She could eat healthy while also _eating_.

“Okay, whatever Ranger Rick, I’m done with your shit. I’ve barely been able to talk to any boy that hasn’t been Farkle or Zay in over three weeks. I get that you take protecting your friends seriously, but it’s honestly really starting to piss me off,” She continued on and you just watched as she soon became out of breath, arms swinging and voice increasing in octaves as she tried not to pause too many times. And you thought about how simple it would be if you just kissed her, right then. Your mind tried to tell you that there would be consequences or one of you would probably end up getting hurt or something that would definitely make you not do it in normal circumstances.

So you kissed her, stopping her mid sentence and making her gasp and making yourself gasp and making everyone close enough to watch gasp. It was quick and over before you really wanted it to be, but she wasn’t kissing back and everything you just did was slowly seeping into your brain. You moved your head back, and started to move your body back when a quick hand shot out to the nape of your neck. _Maya fucking Hart was kissing you. KISSING YOU._ Was all you could think as she brought her lips back to yours. It wasn’t like your mom told you kissing your first love would be like, somehow it was better. Your lips didn’t fit perfectly together, and it wasn’t slow and passionate. It was rough and there was nose bumping and it was heated and it was beautiful. You’d kissed a lot of girls in the past few years, but no one could compare kissing Maya Hart.

Kissing her was like the color of the sky in Texas right before the sun rose. Kissing her was like every Happy Birthday wish you’d ever gotten. Kissing her was like making your first friend in New York. Kissing her, and you knew this before the kiss had even ended, was always going to be your favorite thing. No matter how long you were going to be in each other’s lives, or how long you’d be apart, you just knew.

When you both pulled back and you did that cheesy ‘resting your foreheads together’ thing and kind of synced your breathing together, you paused a moment before saying, “I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been waiting a long time for you to do that.”


End file.
